She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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