I need help removing her.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
