New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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