Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My bed smells like the plague
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
