oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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