Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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