Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
