I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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