Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
