You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
