i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
