After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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