I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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