You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The uberlube is also flammable
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
