my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
