the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
