your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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