hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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