I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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