My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
