That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
