fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
