idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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