we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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