Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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