I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
