IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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