I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize