you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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