i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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