i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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