I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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