I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
