i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
