Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
