Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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