I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
two words...techno handjob
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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