So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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