speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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