my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
