Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize