STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
