Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
