I skipped work to stalk him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
