Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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