Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
