I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
