How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
