This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
