Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
