No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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