You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
