I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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